The Pleasantries of Student Accommodation

So there I was, calmly researching my Dissertation at work, when Sophie contacts me telling me there's yet ANOTHER problem with our flat in Edinburgh. Imma drop some context on y'all quickly just so you can see how inept these people are (baring in mind we were, at one point, organising this across about 12 time zones). In no particular order, their offences are:

• Not knowing who's dealing with us - Zara, Karen, Tom, Jerry, Snoop Dogg, it seems like every single person in that bloody place has (mis)handled our contract at some point, but don't seem to be keeping notes/ in touch with each other.
• Telling us we haven't paid our holding fee
• Telling us we have paid our holding fee, and actually paid too much ( "It's ok, we'll take it off your deposit!" What do you want for coming up with that one? A cookie?)
• Telling us we haven't sent our guarantor forms
• Telling us we haven't sent our guarantor forms
• Telling us we haven't sent our guarantor forms
• Telling us we haven't paid our deposit
• Telling us we haven't sent our guarantor forms
• Telling Sally she hasn't paid her deposit
• Sending me an email with the wrong address, telling me I haven't paid the deposit (the address in the email didn't exist by the way. Thanks 'Joanna')

And of course their latest offence - Telling us that we can't have the keys to the property until 4 days after the contract begins. Oooohohoho this is gonna be good. I feel that these people are very lucky they haven't had to deal with me yet, because I get angry in a very quite-direct-eye-contact-yeah-that's-right-i'm-looking-at-you-don't-make-me-go-loosham-on-you-getting-more-ghetto-by-the-word kinda way. They will rue the day they have to deal with my Mother. In fact, the day they meet ANY of us face to face - we're not stupid just because we're students and don't think that because you're older than us we'll be scared of marching into your office and demanding to have a 'word' with every last one of you. Phew.



How I listen and respond when my Letting Agency contacts me with their nonsense

How I feel on the Inside

Anyway, so Sophie, the first of us to arrive in Edinburgh, wanted to arrange to pick up the keys the day after the contract starts (the 31st) as that's when she'll be back from holiday. "Oh I'm sorry, the whole office will be away in Dundee on that day. We can't get you the keys till Monday." At the risk of being a bit obscene here, are you sh*tting on my face? Are you actually trying this ridiculousness now? It this how it's gonna go down? Really? Ok, let's go. Do you know that due to your own inefficiency, one of your tenants could be left homeless for half a week because you couldn't arrange for 1 person to get her keys to the property that she legally rents and to which she has rightful access from the start date of the lease and everyday thereafter until the period agreed upon in the contract has been terminated, or has been violated by any one of the parties? Do you? Because you do now.

Don't even try me fools. I have been reading contracts, agreements and terms and conditions for 3 weeks now - I know when someone's in material breach. Stop your nonsense, make my keys available to me, or give me my money back for those 3 days that you have not allowed me access to my property, or I will sue you. Do. Not. Try. Me.

And this is only the beginning. The place isn't even that nice you know. kmt.

Edi Xxx

***Addition - I've now checked the 'Tenancy Agreement', clause F12 states that:
"12. Suspending part of the rent

If you cannot live in or use part of the premises you will not have to pay a percentage of the rent until the whole premises are fit to live in again."

Honestly. Bring it.