Middle Class vs Only Child

Often in the wake of my birthday and the big party held in its honour (people sometimes remember that my mum's birthday is on the 8th...but most forget), I get a sharp sense of the reality of how lucky I am. It's basically a massive #CheckYourPrivilege moment. Amidst the presents, family, food, friends and just general lovin', it's easy to feel like it's all just a bit over the top and get a bit of 'surely this can't all be for me' syndrome. I'm never sure, though, whether this is a symptom of being an only child or just being a typical middle class family. Let me explain.

There have been two recent occurrences that have led me to consider this question. Firstly, when I told my parents that I didn't really felt like I deserved a prize for getting a first, they bullied me into picking something. When I had decided on the new Wii U they responded with something along the lines of 'Well, that's not very exciting is it? We were going to get you that for your birthday anyway.' Well, that's me told. A minor incident, but still enough to make me think - should I have chosen a car instead?*

Secondly, there's this whole off to China malarkey. Now, being brought up in the frugal manner my parents had intended, I was OK with getting the indirect flight to Beijing via Doha as - what with all the paperwork scares - it was quite late in the day and the last direct flight for the 16th was around £1000. Now, here I was trying to save my parents a bit of dollar. But no. Why? Why would you travel for almost 2 days? Is there a direct flight? There's a direct flight! Are you mad?! GET. THE. DIRECT. FLIGHT. I. WILL. PAY.

Of course, I'm not the only person who feels this way, hence the nagging comparison. I mean, who am I kidding, I know people who got a parental donation just for graduating, first or no first. Middle class children are no stranger to the occasional 'because-I-thought-you'd-like-it' gift, and best of all getting a 'yes' to what you thought would absolutely be a 'no' (evenif you're not sure why you thought that, and your parents seem completely un-phased). Yes, other middle class children (or rather children of middle class parents) are, too, often met with the paradox of upbringing. When I explained this to my mum, she quite agreed with me. The paradox goes something like this:

As a middle class, working adult, you have striven your entire life so that you could provide for your family, as well as providing them with those little extras that marks one as being 'middle class'.

However, while wanting your child(ren) to be dependent on you during the early stages of their life - when your more than happy to provide them with anything and everything - this is exactly the opposite of what you want them to be in their adult lives. You want them to know the value of things, get a part time job, study hard, finish their education, and generally have good prospects so you won't be looking after them when they're 33.

That being said, when you see your child(ren) about to embark on their adult lives, you can't help but feel a sense of insecurity and panic. How can I just cast them off into the world with nothing? How will they fend for themselves? You've brought them up to be responsible and frugal, but they shouldn't have to be! The world is a cruel place - you know this, you've had to work up yourself. And for what? To give your children everything.

I can't blame you for being confused. There's a very thin - seemingly transparent - line delineating when it's OK to push your child(ren) out of the nest and let them fly alone. Well, not completely alone. You've saved up a bond/trust/shares/ISA for them since you found out you were pregnant in case the worst happened so they would be provided for when they turned twenty-something. But that's besides the point.

They still need help buying their first place, getting plane tickets, where are they going to stay? What are they going to eat? They should -and probably can - save for themselves, but it can't hurt giving them a bit extra just to help them out. After all, you have a second home in *major city*, why don't they just stay there until they can afford their own house? Or even better, live at home until they get married. Why not just buy the place for them? Why did you work so hard in the first place?!

As for me, I'm living with my parents till they kick me out. No one will love me unconditionally ever again - I should take notes so I remember how to bring my children up properly too.

 (*I can't drive)

Holiday #3: Martijana go to Malta

Things have happened - I'm sorry for not writing to you. I know how bereft you must have felt without the constant updates of the banalities of my daily life. Let me enlighten you, please.

But seriously, actual things have happened. I graduated for one - here's a series of proof:

Flatmates with ceremonial bagpiper
That's right, we went to uni in Scotland

Me, Martha and Serrena

Martijana - check out the kilt kids

A small portion of The Chinese Crew

I will have the grand, official photo up as soon as possible.

The ceremony itself went by in a flurry of activity (I'm apparently called Ediyana Obi-...*hrumph*-Guest now), with barely enough time to cheer for each friend before being swatted off the stage with a hat that almost went - *but didn't quite make it* - to space. The day was long, v. tiring though, between preparing, obtaining robes, taking photos, taking official photos, ceremony-ing, more photos, more photos, photos, omg so many photos, and returning robes. Then we had to run off to catch the train at 6pm, after a rushed wine and cheese reception at the Chinese department, because the next day....

...I had a rehearsal for my cousin's wedding, in which I was a bridesmaid! It was a full on Nigerian affair - smack bang in the middle of London, in a very expensive hall with probably too many guests and overall just a little too much. But, I suppose, that's what made it such a glorious day. The weather was superb and at least the bride and groom had a spectacular wedding day. The bridesmaids' dresses were actually quite nice and I'm definitely considering reusing mine for a less grandiose event.

Groom's Family 

Me with cousin + fellow bridesmaid Efe

Mum in full traditional with Colin

Ok, now on to the eponymous holiday. You may be thinking "Holiday #3? Where was 2 (or 1 for that matter, if you're not a regular reader)" Well, for 1, do your research, as for 2 it was the trip I took to Aberdeen to see the land of my lover. Although, I don't think it really deserves it's own post in comparison to the charms (and heat) of Malta.

As we spent almost everyday at the beach or just generally wondering around in the sunshine on the very small islands that make up Malta, there's not actually that much to relate. We stayed in Bugibba in St. Paul's Bay, which seems to be 'British Base Camp 1' in the northwest of Malta. Besides visiting the capital - which is really only a half-day trip - there's not much to do besides chill out. The beaches in the north such as Mellieħa and Golden Bay are rightly famous sandy beaches, with parasols and loungers still affordable.

We also visited the second Island of Gozo, having booked a day bus trip to take us around. Jo - the busdriver - was a complete lad but also a bit of a time Nazi. If we didn't have a specific but obscure time to get back (12:35, TWELVE THIRTY-FIVE) it was 15 minutes, 20 minutes, 35 minutes, 1 hour 10 minutes.
At least it was pretty. Besides Malta and Gozo, there's also the island of Comino, which offers only a secluded swim in the famous blue lagoon and is home to just 5 permanent residents.

Martin is impressively not that burnt, but that may be due to the fact that I spent half my time chasing him around with the factor 30 while he insisted in lounging in the midday sun. He is a little pink, but again I've been attacking him with after sun, so peeling is a minimum. White people.

The food was good - especially the random Bulgarian Some friends may be shocked to learn I ate ice cream and, on more than one occasion, *wait for it*...Pizza. Blame Martin.